Sunday, January 18, 2009

On Sunday, Don’t Be Sick*


Sick, thus someone called Godam not so long ago. Unfortunately, someone who said that was someone who he wanted to be invited to share the heart. The heart – who knew what the cause was – was little bit befuddled.

Someone who said that was a beautiful girl named Nita, who hhh, had been for years made Godam could not sleep well. Made Godam fall in love, fall in love, and every night dreamt a happy life together, and then had funny children and so on and so on. In short, someone who said Godam was sick was a girl who very special for him.

That firstly Godam was said to be sick because he asked: what is this life meant? From that question, Godam got a long complicated answer that was ended: be strong!
Fhh…., life was said as firmness.
“Firm? What is firm?” Asked Godam.
“Because this life is loan,” replied Nita.
“What?”

“We are borrowed alive by the creator of life itself. So thank God you are not given alive as snail for example, but as human. However, given alive as human we should also accept its consequences. Sick, hungry, full, sleepy, having no money, falling in love, broken heart, getting gossip, getting jealous, sad, happy, getting trouble and so on until we die. Between those consequences, we have to try to look for the way so we can feel more comfortable. Just trying, endeavoring, not more. Then between the effort and the result we should face many things that not always pleasant. But we cannot just give up. Cannot be hopeless, frustration, etc. That what is called as firm. Because we have no more abilities alias imperfect.”
“So we have to be firm?”
“Why do you ask me again, are you deaf?”
“Lho, why are you furious? Is furious also the consequences of life?”
“Of Course.”
“It means firm is also the consequences of life. So if you say the meaning of this life is firmness, is wrong.”
“Yes it is. What answer do you want?”
“I don’t know.”

Nita the second semester student of Economics Department, then tapped her leg. Maybe she fed up.
“You’re sick!” She replied sharply.

Godam kept quiet. A pile of earth, which was surrounded by various clump tress flowers in that city park, turned to gloomier. The warm twilight, now turned to night. The people who a while ago were crowded enough, now only some people were left. Meatballs seller, young coconut ice, rujak (fruits salad with spicy sauce) vendor and chicken sate who lined up in the east corner side of the park seemed to start packing their stuff to go home. Godam looked at the south. Mercury lamps illuminating the street had started to burn. A flock of seriti birds perched chirpily on the stem of palm tree on the edge of the pool. Next to the palm tree, in the middle of the pool with fountain, soared up right the statue of Bima twisted by the dragon. The muscles of Bima seemed to stand up powerfully fought a giant dragon, which would swallow him wildly. That was very brave. Both Bima and the dragon were brave. “Is the statue also symbol of firmness? Ah, do you think statue can think?” Godam grumbled in his heart.

***

Few days later, Godam’s father died. Godam asked Nita again who in that day was wearing pink t-shirt. Godam asked, why could people die?

Nita who was wearing pink t-shirt in that day mused for few minutes before answering. Then, in a half hopeless, she finally said: how could we know about the death, while life could not be understood wholly. That the death, forgot about it, it was just about terminology. That, when the creature stopped breathing, its heart stopped beating, its lungs stopped moving, its blood stopped flowing inside the body, its brain stopped working, everything stopped, at that time it was called dead. “So if you ask how someone can die, just because his heart stop beating, his lungs stop moving, his blood stop flowing and so on. Isn’t that?”
“I mean, why cannot be fixed up, that’s I mean,” Godam was still anxious.
“What do you mean?”
“For example when someone’s heart stop beating, why it cannot be fixed up so it can beat again or it is changed by another heart.”
“That has been done? There are many people who their heart have been changed, aren’t they? There are many people who their lungs have been fixed up, aren’t they? There are many people who their kidney have broken and then have been changed, aren’t they?”

“Yes. My father had done a bowel surgery. Doctor said, my father’s bowel got malignant cancer. It must be cut …..” Godam didn’t continue his words.
“That’s one of examples that parts of our body which is in disorder can still be cured.”
“But why does he still die?”
“Damed! That’s the might of Him who give this life. This life is loan. If he who gives the loan wants to take it back, so, what we can say? ”
“Yeee, when do we borrow it? I never feel borrowing it!” Godam was stinging.

Nita who at that day was wearing pink t-shirt stopped talking. She looked at godam for long time. Then, she extended her palm and fondled Godam’s forehead. “You are sick. The medicine has used up, hasn’t it?” She asked. Godam was dazed.

***

Not so long, Godam met Nita again in ……., somewhere. For this, the place suddenly became unimportant to have name. A place, could be an office, kitchen, bath room, street, market, shop, beach, wardrobe, closet, yard, library, foot ball field, public telephone ……, let them still with their own name. But for this case, let the names were not called, because actually – this – did not really need certain place, which was special, although for while, perhaps many people realized the names were important at least as the silent witness. Nevertheless, for Godam, and also Nita, let them unlike the other people, did not have problem for the name of a place.

Godam spoke with a half whisper, - a short sentence that actually had been kept by him even for centuries – according to his feeling. “I fall in love with you. Would you also fall in love with me, Nita?”
Nita was surprised half-alive. She looked at Godam for long time.
“Please, what happen to you, Godam?” She asked.
“So why?”
“Why are you so easy to say falling in love?”
“Because I really fall in love with you. Because I want something that is always easy. Because, whatever that we have tried to do with so much consideration, calculation, thought, sublimation, sedimentation, etc, actually will be ended easily. Like…. like … ya like everything. The price for instance, how easily it increases without asking agreement from the buyers. It is just like the law for example, how easily it changes the attitudes depends on who use it or for whom it is used. It is also like politics for instance, how easily it change the direction, compromise, without memorizing the history, without memorizing how much the victims is, who have been caught up for protecting ideology which is adored Before. It is also like the death, it simply happens. Have a look around the street, people can easily die just because an accident. Anywhere people can die easily just because of being stabbed, shot, hang oneself, drinking poison, heart attack, stroke, cancer, typhus, AIDS, cholera, dengue fever, TBC, diabetes ….”
“Are you sick? Ough…. Let’s go to the doctor!” Nita pulled Godam’s hand.

To make the problem easier, Godam obeyed.

All long the road to the doctor, Godam’s thought was round and round by the questions. Why in every point of talking that too serious Nita always called him sick? Why, when he thought and spoke honestly based on his heart, he was always called sick? If everybody had the way of thinking, speaking and acting like him, would everybody be called sick? What is sick actually? Was he perhaps a sickness?

At the doctor Godam laughed. Apparently, it was Sunday and the doctor closed. So, on Sunday, don’t be sick!***

One day

Nanoq da Kansas

*The title was inspired from a short story “Dilarang Membunuh Di Hari Sabtu” (Don’t Kill On Saturday) by Satmoko Budi Santosa.