FALLING STAR

“Dear, where does the falling star go?” asked the girl to: whether to her lover, whether to her friend, whether to her chemistry teacher, whether to her English teacher, whether her head master, whether her father, whether her mother, whether her older brother, whether her little brother, whether her neighbor, whether herself, whether her dream, whether her fantasy, whether ……

Would you, would you be the falling star? To be something completely burned, felt, but still gave magnificence for the dark sky before finally it was totally gone? Would you be that magnificence in seeking my soul that I didn’t know why it had been eternal for centuries? Would you give me a little explanation, why between that darkness, there was something, which let itself burned for a bundle of light that just also for a moment?

When the girl asked, when those questions were uttered by her, a television was turning on. In the middle of shining light, horrifying pictures appeared in turns with narrations that also so horrifying. About war that still demanded victims in a nation. About bombs that still exploded in a town. About the dead bodies that had burnt without being able to be identified. About dryness of an area in an island. About flood, about storm and hurricane that killed a thousand of people. About a hundred of children who were killed in taking of hostages’ action. About tens of robbery, murder, torturing between human being.

At the same time, a piece of newsletter was being opened and read by someone. There were pictures and letters that were arranged only from anger. There were sentences that were arranged only from suspicion, swearword and spitefulness. There were expressions that were written only from hypocrisy, untruth and pretense. There were also punctuation marks that exactly flying on never been able to touch the ground.

***

Dear, Would you, would you be the falling star? To be something completely burned, felt, but still gave magnificence for the dark sky before finally it had totally gone? Would you be that magnificence in seeking my soul that I didn’t know why it had been eternal for centuries? Would you give me a little explanation, why between that darkness, there was something, which let itself burned for a bundle of light that just also for a moment? Asked the girl to: whether to her lover, whether to her friend, whether to her chemistry teacher, whether to her English teacher, whether her head master, whether her father, whether her mother, whether her older brother, whether her little brother, whether her neighbor, whether herself, whether her dream, whether her fantasy, whether ……

Of course, I could not answer if the question of the girl was pointed to me. I imagined. It would take me so long to think for finally shaking my head and giving up in the same question. However, I would tell an analogy (that actually it did not similar like this), a story, a fairy tale. That, the dew that came early dawn until morning and than swung in the sharp point of the leaves and in the trunk of the grass, was also something that willing to sacrifice itself for giving a magnificence to the earth. Imagined! What was the advantage of the dew to swing there if in a moment it was absorbed to be unshaped vapor by the sun that came later with hot body always. Why should the dew appear in the morning? Why it swung there, unless if you saw it carefully, so you would be able to catch it then put it into a language with voice: magnificence!

Therefore, that was the reality of life. There were always who were willing to come just when others were willing to go. There were always who were willing to wait between those who were bored. There were always who were silent just when others were noisy. There were always who woke up when others were sleeping. There were always who did not choose between those who were fighting. There were always who gave when others avoided. There were always who were honest when others were hiding. There were always who were sharing when others were hunting. And that dew, that falling star too, actually also took a position in between them.

Therefore, if I could I wanted to be that falling star. I wanted to be that dew. Appeared in a moment even in a very short time, but it had been there. Maybe, there was not many who could see it, but there was always who saw it. Like the falling star, maybe only that girl who (always) saw it. (Or maybe you always waited?) Like the dew, even no one who realized its existence, but a cricket surely needed it only for wetting its throat after singing all night. Yes, I wanted to be that falling star!

nanoq da kansas

translated from indonesian first by yudi ariani

about my name

with my brother ibed

oi, they give me many names
and how rich my image is

while even mother didn’t know
who I was when I asked, one day after it rained
in the yard wiping off my shoeprints
made of velvet or mute

and now who am I
other than someone in a hurry challenged by time
jumping through a train door
towards you
then at every transit platform
I give a greeting: hi, how are you
do we still have time
for just a little lie?

but whose train is this?
dusty window glass is still covered in gray

so about my name, whatever you wish
it must be beautiful, for you are a name specialist
but don’t forget, tell me your name too
because each ticket will be checked
and at any time anyone could say
: is this your train too? don’t forget
your name!

nanoq da kansas
translated by Joyce Adiwinata

Bali, Poverty and Pauperization

Foto: Eka Prasetya

The refusal of local authenticity and sovereignty in the development of Bali to force it becomes exclusive, is the starting point of poverty and pauperization in social aspect, economy and social culture, even Bali civilization structure generally. Forcing absurd ideas that imprisons Bali into the absurd exoticism all this time, clearly dwarfs Bali. Bali has been just like a bonsai in every aspect. It is beautiful and enchanted, but it can do nothing.

One of reason that we don’t want to admit, why the bomb tragedy in Kuta few years ago made Bali paralyze immediately, is because Bali is poor! At that moment, when the only one asset that Bali still had, that was “safety and peacefulness”, was suddenly messed up by the terrorist’s bomb, Bali was directly in agony. It is because “safety and peacefulness”, the only one asset in this modernization era becomes object sold by Bali to support its societies although it just comes from some small changes of the tourists.

So, when the only one asset was completely crushed, immediately we realized, that we, that Bali, didn’t have anything! Nothing could be sold to make the tourists come and brought their small change for us. Moving to another job, that was impossible! It was because the land for farming had been narrower changed by golf-course, hotel, villa, supermarket, shop, etc. Building a factory, that was impossible. Having a business was also impossible because all places for business had been owned by the outside capitalists. Selling something in a small range on the edge of the street was also difficult, because the street had been filled up by vendors from out of island in which when Bali still lived in safe and peace, we accepted them with smile and thank.

Yes, the reason that also makes the mental of Bali down, just because a bomb exploded in Kuta tourism area, is because the terrorist’s bomb makes Bali aware about its poverty! It is difficult to be objected, that poverty is always easier to make us panic, inferior, and then paranoid. While, the victims of the savage terrorist in that tragedy, actually had enough crushed our heart, after that (as Balinese that are truly spiritualist) we fully surrendered to god almighty. That the dead people certainly go to the appropriate place for them. But, we who are still alive, have to think and struggle very hard (even if it is needed, by allowing every ways), to continue the life more easily as much as we can every day.

But, how can our life become easier every day if we don’t have a foundation for that? And that is it, which happens to the people in this God’s Island in which its bright sprays out to foreign continents. That, as the societies of our nation, Balinese people who live in Bali, actually don’t have better chance than the marginal who live outside in hinterland valley and gloomy hill of Irian, in dry land of Madura and NTT, in the cruelty of Jakarta, the metropolitan city, Surabaya, Makasar and other big cities.

“At the moment, how small the incident that disturbs “the purity of good name” Bali, will easily paralyze Bali like what happened after the bomb tragedy in Kuta. It is because the social economy of Balinese has been taken over and built by the shareholders without the right and proper foundation. Not on the brittle foundation, but without right and proper foundation!” that was the opinion of one of Balinese’ son, Wayan Ratmitha. The reason is, Bali is forced to be elite by ignoring the authenticity of every local aspect, social-culture-economy aspects.

“What is meant by the authenticity of Bali, is Bali with its unity and local sovereignty is allowed to grow, wake up and walk with Balinese natural belief together. It is not in many kinds of form like what happened in few last decades,” said Ratmitha.
The Paralysis of Village Potential

This refusal of local authenticity in the development of Bali to force it become elite that precisely create poverty by poverty in social and economic aspect and also Balinese culture generally. Forcing absurd ideas that imprisons Bali into the absurd exoticism all this time, clearly dwarfs Bali. “So far, Bali has been become bonsai by the elite who collaborate with the greedy capitalist, whether they are local or central elite. Bali is beautiful and enchanted, but it can do nothing. That is bonsai,” continued the activist of Komunitas Kertas Budaya (Jembrana-Bali) pessimistically.

All this time, the exoticism that succeed to be built tidily by the elite and the capitalist has absorb many human resources from all over villages in Bali to go surrendering their faith to the only one industry, that is tourism, that unfortunately is centered only in one place in Bali. The young generations of the villages in Bali are proud of their selves, if they can be gardener, cleaning service in hotel, waiter for the tourist, dress maker in garments owned by the foreigner or surfing board holder in Southern Badung. While, at their house, in their villages, they neglect their garden and rice field or they sell them to the new rich people coming from certain places who have sold their land for the infrastructure of tourism industry. People who leave their rice field in their village are still lucky sometimes, because their parents have to rent someone to work on their rice field. Especially for the people who leave a garden in their village, so the garden finally becomes underbrush area or wild grasses. The potential of the village slowly and surely becomes paralyzed.

By using agricultural modernization as the reason, previously, from their desk in luxurious building, the elite enticed the farmers in all over villages in Bali to plant their garden with export commodity plants. Coconut trees, mango, sawo (kind of tropical fruit), durian, ceroring (kind of tropical fruit , in bahasa Indonesia it is called duku), kepundung (kind of tropical fruit), etc were felled and changed by vanilla, glove, cocoa or imported fruit plants. Because of the enticement that too wonderful and also without sufficient socialization about the classification of appropriate plants to be planted in their garden, not all farmer could feel the crops. While, the farmers who were unlucky because their land was not appropriate to be planted by glove, cocoa, etc, just bit their fingers.

So when the tourists needed to eat fruits, immediately the capitalists exported oranges from China, apple from New Zealand, grape from Bangkok, rice from Siam, soy bean from America, and so on.

Balinese people that their daily life are full of many rituals in which its concept is always in accordance with nature, so the equipments used to conduct the rituals also come from nature, have to buy those equipments outside the island. Bananas have been rare to be found in Bali because the local banana trees have gone by plant pest as the effect of the raging cultivation of species of banana as the result of crossbreeding conducted by the agricultural experts, a few days ago. Fruits for offerings, want or not, we have to use imported fruits that nowadays can easily be found from market to the small shops on the edge of the street. Whereas, the price of those fruits are more expensive and are not equal to the result of selling cocoa seeds, vanilla, glove flowers that all apparently depends on the need of global market.

So that is it, the exoticism of Bali which nowadays is only absurd exoticism, instant, tasteless and brittle. Whereas, previously, something that made Bali brighten, something that made Bali as “Morning of the World” (said a friend who cites Nehru), was the life in villages that became the authenticity of Bali itself. Bali with its people that grew naturally with the rice field and subak (Balinese irrigation) together, with corn garden , kesela (Balinese word for sweet potato), palawija (crops planted as second crop in dry season), and local fruits like kepundung, ceroring, katulampo (kind of tropical fruit), poh gandarasa (kind of mango in Bali), poh golek (kind of mango in Bali), poh gedang (kind of mango in Bali), durian, mangosteen, biyu buluh (kind of banana in Bali), biyu raja (kind of banana in Bali), biyu ketip (kind of banana in Bali), biyu gedangsaba (kind of banana in Bali). It is not Bali which is developed instantly by following concept of many kinds of imported fast food.

Because if we want to be honest, till now Bali still needs corn, kesela, kesawi (Balinese word for cassava), undis (kind of nuts that is classified as vegetable in Bali ), kepundung, ceroring, katulampo, poh gandarasa, poh golek, poh gedang, durian, mangosteen, biyu buluh, biyu raja, biyu ketip, biyu gedangsaba. And, how ridiculous if now Bali should buy all of them outside.

The Systematic Pauperization
What is explained above is also a pauperization process that runs systematically in Bali. That is actually because; the systematical pauperization itself empties into a point in which (in this case) Bali finally depends on the kindness of the outsider. Now, Bali depends on the kindness of the farmers from Java in order to get local stuff for eating and for conducting tradition and religion ceremony. Bali depends on the kindness of the capitalists in tourism and business centers in order that its young generation can be a labor or a coolie. Bali depends on the kindness of the croupiers in order that they want to buy the glove, cocoa seeds and vanilla fruits from the farmers that is not so much. Bali depends on the kindness of the brokers of advanced country in order that the craft made by its societies like wood-carvings, statue, to silk-screening T-shirt can be exported with very cheap price. Yah, it is better than becomes rotten or eaten by termites, everything is accepted sincerely.

In the case of employment, the dependence of Bali on the outsider who unfortunately is nothing but the capitalist is also extremely huge. It is because the magic of tourism industry which is too glamour, has killed the societies’ belief to provide their selves with good and proper education. Almost all parents in Bali push their children to finish their school until senior high school only. Afterwards, they should go to tourism centers to be a coolie. It doesn’t matter, whether they only (as what is said before) become gardener or cleaning service in hotel, waiter, shopkeeper, dress maker in garments, alcohol bottle taker in bars, sandpaper and shoe polisher, whatever. The most important is they can close to the tourists, the case closed!

Why do the parents choose that way for their children? It is because the school fee is extremely high. And the high cost cannot be pierced by the agriculture crops that has been ignored so long, cannot be pierced by the income as a coolie. So the management of economy in Bali is wholly managed by the human resources from out of Bali that certainly come with impassioned capitalistic desire, which is the same as El Nina and Katrina storms in Pacific Ocean. The income or high salary runs outside, while small change goes to local worker. “If we talk about all of this, whether we just aware or because of frustration, it will never stop! That Bali is poor. From the beginning, Bali has been poor, and then Bali is made become poor continuously, so the poverty become having its descendant in Bali. There is only one solution, the willingness of the elite together with the societies in Bali to change totally the development regulation that all this time are oriented to bourgeois, back to the local authenticity and sovereignty of Bali itself!” Thus, some of Balinese young thinkers mumble. Only mumble!

Moding, Beginning 2008

nanoq da kansas